Posts Tagged With: bullies

He cried and I was so proud!

About a week ago, I was working on editing a video for YouTube while my nine year old son was watching videos on his laptop. After a little while I noticed that he was watching something that apparently had his undivided attention, and I got curious. I asked him what he was watching. He told me he was watching a documentary on NRK Super (a web/tv channel for kids) about a boy that was bullied.

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Some minutes passed and I could hear the story that this boy told in the background while I was working. It was heartbreaking to hear the cruelty that was done to him by his classmates. They had locked him inside of a classroom, and they’d beaten him up pretty bad. He was talking about how it all happened, how it felt afterwards, and how they eventually had to move and start a new life somewhere else because the bullying wouldn’t stop.

Being a victim of bullying as a teenager myself, I always find it hard to listen to stories like this. The cruelty of kids that don’t think their actions through makes my heart ache. I turned to Leander and saw that he was crying, and it warmed my aching heart.

How lucky am I to have a child that feels such empathy. To be able to watch someone else bare their struggles and pain, and through what he saw, he could feel it all. He could feel it so much that he couldn’t hold it in. It was beautiful to see an emotion so pure, brought forth by information that he himself had gone searching for.

It’s easy as a parent to focus on all of the things that we feel like we have done wrong, or could have done differently. But watching him have this kind of reaction, and talking about bullying with him afterwards, hearing his thoughts, that was a moment where I truly felt that I had done something right. Somewhere along the road, growing up to be the little man that he is, he’s learned to care for others. To love them for who they are and the life they choose live, even though he might not agree with all of it. He’s learned to respect others and to try not to judge them.

I will not take complete credit for this, but the amount of time we’ve used to talk about life, people and choices, I know that’s played an important part in this.

I’m so grateful that my son already is a seeker of knowledge, and I’ll keep on encouraging him. To try to give him as many tools as possible for him to be able to make the choices that will be right for him.

And maybe most importantly, it’s important for me that he knows that crying is not a sign of weakness. To be comfortable enough to show your emotions is a strength that should not be taken for granted. It’s a superpower!

 

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You are not the most important person in the world!

I strongly believe that everyone is unique in their own way and can never be replaced. You are important to the ones that loves you!

Now that I’ve gotten that out the way I’m going to have a late night rant about rude people.

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I was waiting in line at a café today when a customer came up to the desk where a lovely girl with a big smile welcomed him as a returning costumer. He asked about a certain beverage and she apologised and told him that they still hadn’t gotten it in. It was a juice box of some sorts. This man then flew into a rage about how this should have been fixed a long time ago, that this was the worst customer service he’d ever gotten and that he was getting really angry (thank you, captain obvious!). The girl behind the desk apologised yet again (in the most professional way) and this man didn’t even take the time to hear her words. He stormed (or rather stomped) off in rage. This brought me back to when I worked as a barista some years ago (and to any other job I’ve had. They all revolve around customer service) and I remember specific episodes where I was yelled at, called stupid and where I felt scared. All of these customers were the kind that got angry because something didn’t turn out exactly like they pictured it.

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If you’ve ever had a similar job, you know the type. Let’s just call them “The Impossible Customer”. The ones that are never happy. They never get what they want, when they want it. They find any kind of stupid little detail (of no importance at all) that they can complain about. And they lash out at you if there’s something they don’t understand themselves.

The Impossible Customer will say the most ridiculous thing to break you down so that they seem superior and smarter. I’ve heard them tell me thing’s that were just plain wrong, tell out right lies and even called me the most awful names.

As someone who values good customer service, it is important for me to provide it as well. But there’s something that needs to be said. You shouldn’t have to take undeserving crap from The Impossible Customer.

They can be unhappy as much as they like, but that doesn’t justify bullying. Yes, bullying. Because there aren’t just teens and kids that are bullies, some grownups are just as bad and even worse. And it is unacceptable!!

If you see someone being bullied by a customer, speak up! If you aren’t able to do so, give the bullied person some supportive words when it’s your turn to speak to him or her.

The Impossible Customer might be rich and all that, but they are also the ones who will spread venom around them. They will intoxicate the environment they’re in unless they change their attitude.

There will always be Impossible Customers out there. Their problems are within themselves so don’t be discouraged by their hateful words and negative criticism. Do your job as good as you can and constantly aspire to be even better. And if that isn’t good enough for The Impossible Customer, then you’ve done all that you could have.

Have pride in your work and don’t let The Impossible Customer get you down! Take a deep breath, close your eyes and remember those happy and grateful customers. The ones that always comes back to you because they want to! Those are The Important Customers. Those are the ones that counts!

The Impossible Customer might believe that they’re the most important person in the world, but we all know that it’s not even close to the truth. And maybe that’s why they’re so angry, because they know it too.

 

 

 

 

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Plus Size Models and Body Image

Earlier this week I read an article that covered the fact that plus size model Tess Holliday had signed a modeling contract with a big agency, being the first in her size to do so.

I’ve been following Tess on social media for a loong time and I did a celebration dance when I heard this fantastic news!

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I think it is so important that we start to see the lovely beauties of different sizes doing their thing! Tess is an absolute fox and the work that she does with trying to help other girls to be proud of the body that they have through her EffYourBeautyStandards is amazing and so important! The media has taught us girls to hate our bodies if it does not fit into the size that they have decided is the right one. We are bombarded with commercials, movies, music videos etc. that shows us bodies that are photoshopped to someone other than that person who actually stood in front of the camera.

Don’t get me wrong, I know that this isn’t the case for everyone. Not all of them are twisted versions of the truth but there’s no secret that way too many are! It’s time for a change and that change has been very much needed for way too long! And I think that women like Tess is a big part of that change (no pun intended)!

So when I was done doing my dance I looked for any cover of this story in Norwegian newspapers, and sure enough, there it was! Hurray!! But then I made the fatal mistake of reading the reader’s comments below and it made me so sad and angry.

Most of the people who posted comments agreed that it is a good thing that we are seeing models who’s got some meat on their bones, but then the rants came. How Tess is an unhealthy role model for young girls. How they think that it is irresponsible to show “fat” women because that will make young girls think that it is healthy to be obese/fat.

“This is the counterpart of starved and anorectic! We need healthy role models for our kids, not this!!”

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Really? Is this really what people are taking from these great news? Let me set the records straight right now!

The focus on this news is not what size she is! Does who follow Tess will also know that she does work out and is healthy but has always been a big girl. She was bullied out of school as a young girl and never thought that she would be a model even though she really wanted to.

So all of you with all of that negativity out there, throwing it around like you just don’t care: What makes you any better than does bullies? Haven’t we grown past that yet? Shame on you!

So when you’ve maybe gotten that through your head then tell me this: Are you comfortable in your own body?

I hope you are, because we should all be! We always find things that we would like to improve, and that’s fine, but do it for you! NOT for anyone else. A size zero won’t make you happy!

The important message that Tess is all about is redefining the standards of beauty. To love oneself and letting go of does stupid ideals that’s been pushed down our throats for way to long. To stop the bullying and to see the beauty that is in us all. To reach for the stars and follow our dreams no matter what other people say!

So I say: YOU GO TESS!! I’m rooting for you!!!

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Let’s shake it off and chase those dreams!!

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It’s reunion time…

The time has come. It’s been ten years since I got out of high school and this weekend we’re having a reunion.

I’m going to admit that I do have mixed feelings about this reunion. I wasn’t any kind of popular in school and was bullied a lot. I got to feel how cruel girls at that age can really be. A part of me wants to meet those girls and tell them that every mean word they ever threw me has made me into to strong person I am today, and yet there is another part of me that wants to run away screaming.

I do have a feeling that as they have now grown up they will act like the bullying never happened, but the ones that are bullied forgive but we never forget. If any of them would be big enough of a person and give me an apology I would gladly accept it, but I don’t expect any of them to give me that. I’m expecting a fake welcoming and the girlfriend act that pisses me off big time.

“Hiiii! How are you?? What have you been up to?? “

For over two years they made my life miserable and for some reason it should all just be well and forgotten. I’m not saying that I’m holding a grudge because that isn’t the kind of person I am, but there still is a part of me that hurts whenever I think back to those years.

Maybe I’m just afraid of feeling all of those things again. And even though I know that I’m a strong person I don’t really know how I will react to the situation. I usually avoid being stuck in places with people I don’t get along with. It’s not worth my energy or my time.

This time I’m making an exception and giving it a go. I’m so glad that Kathrine and I are still friends so that we can go to this thing together. And we have decided that if we feel uncomfortable and anyone of us wants to leave we will do so. Then she and I will go out and have a glorious time as we usually do!

It feels good to have a plan B.

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