Posts Tagged With: body image

If Only We Could Replace Your Face

When I was about 14 years old, I had a crush on a guy that was my friend. We had som pretty long conversations over the phone, and I could always count on him being honest with me. I don’t remember much from all of the late night conversations we had, but there’s one conversation in particular that I will never forget. It’s the one who broke down my already battered self esteem.

I don’t remember how we got into the subject, but for some reason he told me that he’d overheard some of the guys talk about me. I asked him what they said, and at first he was reluctant to tell me. He did eventually tell me though, and in hindsight I wish he never had.

“The guys think you have a really good looking body, they just wish that they could replace your face.”

My whole life crumbled at that moment. The little self esteem a bullied 14 year old me had vanished. I remember crying in my room after my mom and the rest of the family went to bed. Sobbing as quietly as I could.

For years I only saw myself as “a body”. When I looked in the mirror I could appreciate my shape, but there were so many things I wanted to change when it came to my face. I got into modelling when I turned 18, and that made it even worse after a while. After seeing the photographers photoshop my nose smaller again and again, the complex I already had for my nose grew into a giant monster that was constantly sitting on my shoulders, whispering about how wrong my face was and how I should probably think about doing something about it.

It got to the point where I actually had booked a consultation with a plastic surgeon, but when the day came I just couldn’t bring myself to go.

I was determined to fix it one day though. For years it felt like something I really needed to do sooner or later.

Kids can be so cruel, but often they don’t know the impact their cruelty can have. And I really want to believe that they don’t know that their bullying can change peoples lives for years. The media business is a whole other story for another day.

I feel lucky that I’ve grown to love myself and the way I look. That I’ve learned to appreciate the things that makes me look different. Knowing that I wouldn’t want to live in a world where everyone looked exactly the same.

Do I still have moments where I don’t like what I see? Yes, that monster sometimes returns at weak moments and whispers things when I’m having a bad day.

Do I still want to do something about my nose? No, I have no plans of going through with rhinoplasty. This is the nose that my parents gave me, and this is who I’m supposed to be.

Self love is something that’s very important to me, and something that I’ve written and talked about several times. It’s something we all need to practice more and help each other out with. Self love can be a tough exercise, but we all need to do it and do it more often!

I’m currently taking notes for a few self love videos that I’m hoping to make this fall. I’m excited to be working on something that’s so important to me, and I look forward to sharing it with you guys!

Love yourself and share your love!

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My Pale Skin – You Look Disgusting

When I first saw this video it made me want to cry! The second time I got angry! And as I’m sharing it would you guys I’m both with a sprinkle of motivation and inspiration on top! We need to change the way we talk to each other and don’t even get me started on internet trolls! I’ll save that for a later post.

Watch this and go forth as a great example when you travel through the world wide web.

SPREAD LOVE, NOT HATE!

 

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Body Loving by Christina de Vries – POEM

When was the last time

You looked in the mirror and said 

I love this body of mine?

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When there was nothing you’d like to change

Nothing to improve or work with

When you didn’t compare yourself to strangers?

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Ask me. The honest answer is 

I can’t even remember 

And scary enough, I’m not alone in this

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Thrown at us from every direction is the guide

Wanting people to become unrealistic creatures

Wanting us to show it all, but makes us hide

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Creating a dream to become something unreal

To try to get results only photoshop can make

And when you don’t get there, what do you feel?

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The shame of not being good enough

Some break down because of failing 

There’s only so long a person can act tough

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I don’t love my body. I wish that wasn’t true

How perfect it would be to only see 

The miracle that makes me and you

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Think of all this wonderful body can do 

It heals itself, loves and handle pain 

Let’s stop the shaming and say thank you

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Thank you for letting me feel 

For taking me places and creating memories

For being something to be proud of and not conceal

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It’s time to focus on getting better from the inside

Using time well spent by giving out a compliment

And stop judging on what is on the outside

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Learn to see the beauty of a broken soul

To love all that makes us human 

Appreciate the mistakes that makes us whole

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Body shaming is just another word for hate

And why should we talk down about 

The one thing keeping us grounded, unique and great?

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It’s long overdue to turn body shaming into body loving 

To take care of it as our most important asset

Because without it, we truly are nothing 

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You might never see perfection but love it anyway 

For all it gives you and where it takes you

Repeat after me and say:

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I love my body!

I love my body!

I LOVE MY BODY!

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Scream it to the world so they can all hear

Write it in the sky and at the bottom of the sea

With those four words, chase away the fear

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Of never becoming a copy of a lie

Embrace that miracle that is you 

And kiss those body shamers goodbye

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Life is too precious and too short for shame

Take a break. It’s time to love yourself

Besides, how stupid would we look if we were all the same?

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©Christina de Vries – Geek Heaven

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Plus Size Models and Body Image

Earlier this week I read an article that covered the fact that plus size model Tess Holliday had signed a modeling contract with a big agency, being the first in her size to do so.

I’ve been following Tess on social media for a loong time and I did a celebration dance when I heard this fantastic news!

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I think it is so important that we start to see the lovely beauties of different sizes doing their thing! Tess is an absolute fox and the work that she does with trying to help other girls to be proud of the body that they have through her EffYourBeautyStandards is amazing and so important! The media has taught us girls to hate our bodies if it does not fit into the size that they have decided is the right one. We are bombarded with commercials, movies, music videos etc. that shows us bodies that are photoshopped to someone other than that person who actually stood in front of the camera.

Don’t get me wrong, I know that this isn’t the case for everyone. Not all of them are twisted versions of the truth but there’s no secret that way too many are! It’s time for a change and that change has been very much needed for way too long! And I think that women like Tess is a big part of that change (no pun intended)!

So when I was done doing my dance I looked for any cover of this story in Norwegian newspapers, and sure enough, there it was! Hurray!! But then I made the fatal mistake of reading the reader’s comments below and it made me so sad and angry.

Most of the people who posted comments agreed that it is a good thing that we are seeing models who’s got some meat on their bones, but then the rants came. How Tess is an unhealthy role model for young girls. How they think that it is irresponsible to show “fat” women because that will make young girls think that it is healthy to be obese/fat.

“This is the counterpart of starved and anorectic! We need healthy role models for our kids, not this!!”

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Really? Is this really what people are taking from these great news? Let me set the records straight right now!

The focus on this news is not what size she is! Does who follow Tess will also know that she does work out and is healthy but has always been a big girl. She was bullied out of school as a young girl and never thought that she would be a model even though she really wanted to.

So all of you with all of that negativity out there, throwing it around like you just don’t care: What makes you any better than does bullies? Haven’t we grown past that yet? Shame on you!

So when you’ve maybe gotten that through your head then tell me this: Are you comfortable in your own body?

I hope you are, because we should all be! We always find things that we would like to improve, and that’s fine, but do it for you! NOT for anyone else. A size zero won’t make you happy!

The important message that Tess is all about is redefining the standards of beauty. To love oneself and letting go of does stupid ideals that’s been pushed down our throats for way to long. To stop the bullying and to see the beauty that is in us all. To reach for the stars and follow our dreams no matter what other people say!

So I say: YOU GO TESS!! I’m rooting for you!!!

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Let’s shake it off and chase those dreams!!

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You don’t have to try so hard!

The first time I showed this song to one of my girlfriends she was in tear. I had the exact same reaction when I heard it the first time.

Now I would like to share it with you guys!

We use so much energy on trying to fit in, to look the way that the media tell us is the right way, to be popular and to be loved.

How easy it is to get caught up in it all. To find out one day that even though there are so many other people who likes you, you don’t really like yourself. We need to stop trying to be what everyone else wants us to be and focus on becoming the one that we would like to be.

You need to love yourself before anyone else can possibly love you for the one that you truly are.

Watch, listen and enjoy!

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