I can’t turn it off…

Do you know what I miss? I miss the time when I could pick up a book, disappear into it, and leave the troubles of the real world behind for a little while.

And before I say anything else, I am very aware of the privilege it is to allow oneself to escape. A lot of people in the world don’t have the luxury of doing so. And the trouble that a lot of people face every day is a lot worse than what I’m writing about here. But I just want to share my thoughts today because I feel like my brain is boiling over soon.

For the last four days, I’ve been feeling anxious, worried, stressed, and sad. My energy levels are just extremely low and my body is making it hard to do anything but to stay put. And while I know that there’s a perfectly good reason for the physical limitations I’m going through right now, it feels like it is just making everything else escalate and get worse in my own thinking box.

I’ve been trying to read for the last few days, but my mind wanders to all the news and worries that are popping up. It’s like a horrible Jack in the Box that constantly keeps popping up, but instead of some weird clown, it’s showing me all the things that are going on at the moment in the world that we are living in and it scares me. To be honest, I would rather have the clown popping up any day!

I read about and see people who just blatantly disregard the regulations and recommendations to try to get control over a global pandemic. People are mourning close friends and/or family taken away from them because of a virus, injustice, or both. Leaders of certain countries are allowed to keep on leading even though they outright lie and disrespect the people that they are supposed to protect. People who treat other people or animals like they’re not worth anything. Women and men fearing to be honest about who they are or what they feel.

There’s so much sadness, madness, and injustice in this world. Usually, I’m able to reroute my focus over to the beautiful, wonderful, and positive things in this world, but in the last few days, I’ve really been struggling to do so.

It feels like my mind is filled with noise and dark imagery and I can’t turn it off!

I know that I’m very lucky to have so much love and so many wonderful souls in my life, I don’t think I would be able to cope with all this without them. And I know that I will get through this dark fog and come out on the other side to find the sun shining on all the good things once again.

But for now, I’m just trying my best to take the time needed, to not feel guilty about all the things I don’t have the energy or headspace to get around to, and to not be afraid of reaching out to the loved ones around me.

These are challenging times for all of us, and we don’t have to act strong all the time, even though it’s hard.

I love you guys for taking the time to read and watch what it is that I create and put out there💛 It truly means the world to me, and it makes the rough days so much easier to get through.

You are beautiful! You matter! And it’s okay to not be okay🌻

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