I’ve been keeping you secret for a while now, and I will continue to do so for a little longer. But that doesn’t change the fact that I’m overwhelmed with emotion that has a need to come out. So here it is, a secret love letter:
In a time when I had sworn off dating, promised myself that I wouldn’t put myself in a position where I could get hurt again, and found myself comfortable with the aspect of being alone, you just showed up.
A blast from the past that I never saw coming.
I was so unprepared for it that it still baffles me to think about having you in my life. It feels completely surreal, but it also feels more real than anything I’ve felt for a really long time.
It is not the obsessive uncertainty and constant worry. It is not a head filled with questions, and a fear of the answers they would possibly bring. It is not a tornado of butterflies in my stomach or the struggle with trying to understand mixed signals.
You are like the ocean. When you’re around I feel completely relaxed and at home, and there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.
Your love makes me feel completely safe. It wraps around me like a warm blanket, and it keeps me away from the cold that I’ve grown too accustomed to.
I have so many questions, but they’re all out of excited curiosity, not fear. Our future together is like Christmas, and I’m the impatient child that wants to find out what kind of magic is wrapped up and will unfold when the time comes.
Watching you around the people I love the most, seeing how you fit in as if you were always there, is like watching the most beautiful sunrise. It warms my soul and moves me to tears.
It is awesome how your dorkiness goes so perfectly with mine. We’re both idiots, and I love it!
When you cried at the ending of one of my favorite movies, that was the moment I wanted to tell you that I loved you the first time, but I didn’t. That came later.
We can talk about anything together, and that’s magic in itself. We both have our pasts and our stories. Here there are no secrets, no shame. There’s honesty and openness in a way that I’ve never experienced before.
After getting you back into my life, I’ve woken up feeling grateful every single day. Most of my days are good, some are bad, but through all of them, I feel gratitude so intense that it sometimes burst out as happy tears at the most random times and places.
The awesomeness that is us has made me question a lot of the things I thought I was so certain about. It has made me do a lot of big-picture thinking, and it has been the most amazing surprise.
Your support for my passion feels like having a whole cheerleading team behind me. It means the world to me, and I have a hard time expressing it at times. I hope you know that I support your dreams just as much!
There’s no way to really end this letter because this is just the beginning after all.
But I just wanted to say that I love you, and I can’t believe we’re here at this time of our lives, together.
Thank you for being you, and for loving me and all my weirdness.
I will keep you to myself for a little longer, but I’m excited to be able to share our adventures with the world soon!
PS: If you thought this was cheesy, then know it is all your fault! You brought the cheesy romantic in me back to life. Blame yourself and get bloody used to it 😜