When I was younger I used to love the winter and fall season. When it started to get colder and darker, my mood just got better and better. Here in Norway, when it is at its darkest during the winter, we only get sunlight for a few hours a day, and I used to absolutely love it!
Today though, that answer suddenly came to me while I was walking my dog. It was around 9 pm and it was still light out.
The birds were singing and I was thinking about how everything outside of my apartment comes to life when spring finally comes.
That’s when it hit me.
That time of my life when I loved the darker and quieter seasons, those were the periods of my life where I felt most scared of new people. I was at my shyest, I was bullied, and I had no urge to get new friends. I was very happy with having an excuse to stay inside more, curled up with a book or having my best friends over.
Don’t get me wrong, I still love to curl up under a blanket with a good book, lighting candles, or just having close friends over during the darker seasons.
When I got to my mid-twenties, I started to really come out of my shell. I found real self-love and real self-confidence. And with that came a new found joy for getting to know new people.
Right around that time, there was a shift in a lot of my preferences, to be honest, and that’s when I started to crave the lighter and warmer seasons more.
I started to miss being in a city where I could walk out the door and be met with the sounds and feelings of being surrounded by life and light.
I do appreciate the colder seasons, the changes, and the wonders that Mother Earth shows us through them, but my heart now belongs to spring and summer.
That shy and insecure girl shows an appearance still, every now and then, but not that often.
Nowadays I’m a woman who walks out of my door, and the sound of the birds makes me smile, and the sensation of the sun on my skin makes me all warm inside. And whenever I get to be close to the water as well, I just feel a calmness that’s hard to explain.
We all change, and maybe my preferences for the seasons will change several times throughout my life. But at least now I know one of the reasons for this particular change in my past.
When it comes to the changes in my future; Time will tell❤️