Monthly Archives: January 2018

I’m So Sorry!

I know I talk to you all the time, and we share everything. But sometimes, there are things that I forget to tell you, and things I forget to do.

I don’t tell you that you’re beautiful every day…

I should! Because you are, even when you don’t think so. Even when you don’t feel like you are. Don’t believe anyone who tells you differently!

I don’t give you enough credit for all the hard work you do…

I know you work your ass off, and try to fit more hours in a day, even though you know you can’t. You’re a powerhouse of creativity, and all your hard work is going to pay off soon. You’ve already noticed that things have started to change, haven’t you?

When you’re down, I don’t always offer the loving words that you need to hear…

Which is a shame, because it is in those moments that you truly need me to say them. In many ways, I’m the only one you need to hear them from. Sometimes, those words are all that matters.

Sometimes I forget to give you space…

I know I can be demanding and sometimes I encourage you to do things, even when you don’t really have the energy to. I will try harder to remember that you need time to breathe and to relax.

I even put the whole world on your shoulder from time to time…

I will try not to. No one is strong enough to hold it all at once, not even you!

Truth be told, I don’t always believe in you…

That’s utter bullshit, and I’m so sorry! You’ve proven me wrong, over and over.

I scare you sometimes…

From time to time, I forget how fragile you can be. I forget to handle you with care in those moments. I tell you stories that has yet to come, and I can sense that they scare you out your mind sometimes. I really shouldn’t do that. Together we should prepare ourselves for likely outcomes, not be terrified of unlikely maybes.

I don’t tell you that I love you…

As often as I should!

This is the one thing that I regret the most, and I offer my sincere apology for that awful mistake. I will never be perfect, and there will be more apologies in the future, but never doubt my love for you!

Because I will always love you, even when it doesn’t seem like I do.

– Self Love 

IMG_0263

 

 

Advertisements
Categories: I was thinking about, My own writing, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Top 5 Forgettable Books

Categories: Books, booktube, YouTube | Tags: , , , | Leave a comment

Falling Petals ● POEM

IMG_0691

 

She was a flower

That he picked

And called beautiful

As she fell slowly

Petal by petal

Until almost empty

Only a whisper

Could be heard

By the last petal:

He loves me not..

©️Christina de Vries

 

Categories: My own writing, Poetry, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I’m a LIVE Ambassador!

In my post The Story of My New Tattoo I briefly mentioned the Live A Great Story Community and that I’d become a LIVE Ambassador. If you want the story of my tattoo and how I came to know the Live A Great Story community then I would recommend you read that post first and then head on back here 😊

I’ve always believed that all things happen for a reason, and I find it to be so amazing that what started out as just a sentence that popped into my head, turned into my wall decor and then a tattoo, was something that lead me to this community of so many creative and wonderful people all around the world! I don’t think this was a coincidence! Some things are just meant to be, and I believe that I was meant to end up on this path and to find this amazingly inspiring journey.

live-a-great-story

So, what does it mean to be a LIVE Ambassador? 

Being a LIVE Ambassador means that you are part of a community of awesome creative and hardworking people! It means that you are focused on living a great story, and you want to inspire others to do the same! Weekly challenges! And a whole lot of love!

I’m super excited about the next three months of the Season 3 Ambassador Program that I’m a part of, and I can’t wait to share it with you guys!

If you’re interested in reading more about the Live A Great Story community, you can do so HERE ✌🏻

And if you think that being a LIVE Ambassador might be something for you, then I’m happy to tell you that Season 4 Applications are open now! You can find out more and apply here!Lots more to come! Talk to you soon Lovelies! 

IMG_0268

Categories: My own writing, Travel, Uncategorized, YouTube | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A 1000 Times Thank You!

Something amazing happened last weekend!

My YouTube channel reached a 1000 subscribers 😁 

I’ve been trying to picture a thousand people in the same room, and it’s a lot of people! My channel is still a tiny one, but this was an important milestone to pass for me! I had it written down as one of my goals for 2017, and even though it didn’t happen before the year changed into a new one, it was pretty dang close!

I’m a very firm believer of manifesting ones goals. Writing them down, reminding oneself about them often and then working hard to get there.

Being a dedicated YouTube is a lot of work, and if I had more time on my hands, I would’ve loved to post more videos. But that’s another goal that I’m working towards.

For now, I just want to say a big THANK YOU to all of you who’ve subscribed to my channel. A big THANK YOU for all of the wonderful people I’ve come to know because of YouTube! And of course I want to really THANK YOU guys for all the love and support❤️

You, my lovelies, ARE THE BEST! 

2018 is going to be a great year, and I lots of ideas for videos to come!

Thank you so much for watching, and I will see you in my new video soon 👋🏻

Categories: booktube, Uncategorized, vlog, YouTube | Tags: , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Gone ● POEM

 

 

IMG_0245re.jpg

She searched for him

At the bottom 

Of every glass

In the color

Of every sunset

In the wrinkles

Of every face

But not until 

She stopped looking

Did her eyes open

©️Christina de Vries

 

Categories: My own writing, Poetry, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

My Dentophobia

Screen Shot 2018-01-10 at 17.14.21

First let me tell you a little about how my dentophobia came to life!

As a little kid, I remember that I had no problem going to the dentist. I had very healthy teeth, didn’t have any cavities and they were all standing fairly straight. Then at the age of maybe 10 or 11 my school dentist discovered that I had what looked like the start of a new cavity in one of my molar teeth. They recommended putting a sort of glaze on all of my molars, and that would prevent it from becoming a real cavity. I went in a bit nervous, not knowing exactly what they were going to do. Things are a little blurry after that, but I do remember panicking. I remember lying in that chair, having so much dental gear in my mouth and suddenly I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I got really scared and I started to cry.

source

At that moment, the dentist thought that it would be a good idea to get angry at a scared child and then throw me out and into the waiting room. I remember she was so mad at me, and I couldn’t understand how a grownup could get so angry just because I was scared. I felt embarrassed.

Later on I’ve heard that my mom made a big deal about it and sent in quite the complaint. I didn’t see her there after that. If it was my case alone, or others too that did it, I have no idea.

A few more years went by, and I was more nervous about going to the dentist, but not proper phobic about it yet.

Then came the time when I got my first cavity, at the age of about 14 or 15, and that was the time when I first found out that I’m quite resistent to local anesthetics. Not only could I feel a lot of pain while they started to drill, but they didn’t believe me when I said I could. And there I was, panicking in a dentist chair once again. I was in a lot of pain, and when they finally believed me and stopped drilling, it took 4 doses of local anesthesia before I couldn’t feel any pain.

After that it would go 15 years of utter fear before I sat down in one of those chairs again.

My phobia got really bad over the years, to the point where I would break into sweat just at the mention of dentists or dental care. I would get so nervous just thinking about it that I thought I was going to either faint or throw up.

Then came December 2017, and one of my wisdom teeth got infected. The left side of my face swelled up, and I was in so much pain. I knew there were no escaping the visit that I’d dreaded for so many years.

200w

So I started asking around, and Googling a lot. Eventually my choice ended on       Torshov Tannlegesenter where they had a very good reputation for doing great work with people who struggle with dentophobia. Me and my swollen face went in there on a Saturday, and I felt like my heart was going to pound its way out of my body the whole subway and bus ride over there.

As I sat in the waiting room, I could hear them drilling someone’s teeth in the other room. I was sure that the dentist would find me unconscious and lying in my own vomit when he got out of there. Luckily I neither passed out or puked.

After a little while, it was my time to go in and sit in that dreaded chair. The dentist looked like he was about my age, kind looking and a good singing voice (I’ll get to that later), and he looked at me and said:

“You’re not really ready to be here, are you?”

In that moment I just started to cry and cry. The tears wouldn’t stop coming, no matter how much I tried to remind myself that I’m an adult and that my fear was totally irrational.

I was handed some paper towels and then the dentist and his assistant had a talk with me about my prior experiences and my options. Then he asked me if he could take a look at the tooth that was bothering me, and he could do a full check as well, but if I felt like I was going to panic or got more scared I would just raise my hand and he would stop.

I got out of that room all x-rayed, tartar removed, with a prescription for some antibiotics and another booked appointment just three days later to pull that troublesome wisdom tooth.

I was really nervous the next few days, but I came to find that my heart rate was much lower on my way in the second time than the first. I had to meet up half an hour before my appointment so that I could take a mild sedative drug to help me relax. That’s when I found out that my body is very resistent to sedatives as well. It did nothing. I was then asked if I wanted to go ahead or to rebook so I could either get a stronger sedative or they could put me under. I had built up so much courage to go there that day, that if I’d rebooked and had to go home, I’m not sure I would have managed to do it again. So I told them to go ahead.

They were really careful and made sure that they used enough local anaesthetics, and that it actually worked before they started. It was over and done with in about 15 minutes. My wonderful dentist explained everything he was doing and he had a radio playing in the background playing golden oldies that he sang along to while he did his magic.

I  got out of there, one tooth and one phobia less. I called my mom and I cried because I was so relieved that I’d finally done it. I was (and still is) very proud of myself, even though it took me way too long.

IMG_1848re

I was in quite a lot of pain the next few days, but it got better. And a week after, I went in to remove the stitches AND to drill the three cavities that needed to be fixed. The best part; I wasn’t even nervous!

I know that the path to fighting phobias are very individual. In my case, it was a need to face the fear and to have someone that I trusted and made me feel safe. For others it might take several trips, or they have to do so with the help of a therapist. But no matter how big the fear is, it’s all about acknowledging it and taking the first steps.

If you’re ever in need of a good dentist in Oslo, then I can HIGHLY recommend Torshov Tannlegesenter!

I can now say that I’m cured of dentophobia and I’m so grateful for that!

AdventurousMiserlyArchaeopteryx-max-1mb

 

Categories: I was thinking about, My own writing, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I Smiled and It Made Me Cry

IMG_0221

About a week before Christmas I had a very powerful and wonderful experience. I tried to write about it back then, but couldn’t seem to find the right words, so it ended up as an unfiltered mess in my journal instead. But now I’m giving it a second go.

I can’t remember exactly what I’d been doing that evening, but I was on my way home.

I remember lots of moonlight and my breath coming out in frosty clouds. With music in my ears I walked without really paying attention to where I was going, lost in thought. And then all of a sudden I stopped walking, looked up at the stars and noticed that I was smiling. No, not just smiling, I was grinning! And the best part was, I had no idea why!

This is not uncommon for me. I find joy in the smallest of things, and I’m obnoxiously positive (most of the time), but this was little over a month after my recent heartbreak. It had been a while since I’d felt like the regular me.

And the thing that hit me hard in that moment was that I realized just how long I’d gone without feeling that kind of joy over nothing but a nice night out, and being lost in my own headspace.  Upon that realization, I started to cry. So I walked the rest of the way home, looking like a grinning, crying lunatic, and I didn’t even care.

The tears came from the overwhelming sensation of knowing that I was finally on my way back to my usual self! They were tears of relief!

When I got home, the first thing I did was that I sent a text to the group chat I have with some of my closest girlfriends. I wanted to share my special moment, and the soulmates I have that I needed to tell it to was them! And not just because I wanted to share what had happened, but also because I know that the road would’ve been a lot longer to walk without meaningless grins if it weren’t for all of their love and support.

I had to tell them, because much of that moment was thanks to them. And most importantly, I had to tell them just how much I love them for being the wonderful people that they are!

Now I won’t try to say that every day since then has been all smiles and sunshine, but I’m happy to report that I find myself grinning for no reason more and more often!

It feels so good! In a way, it feels like coming home ❤️

When was the last time you grinned by yourself for no reason? If it’s been a while, I hope you get there soon! And while you heal, I’m here, if you need me…

 

Categories: I was thinking about, My own writing, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

December 2017 📚 Wrap Up

Categories: Book Reviews, Books, booktube, YouTube | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Dear 2017

Looking back on the year that I just left behind, I would be lying if I said that it wasn’t a rough one. 

I had to say goodbye to some wonderful people that I would’ve loved to have closer by for much longer. And even though the internet makes it so much easier to stay in touch with the people that you miss, it still can’t compare to deep conversations face to face, or a real hug!

I said goodbye to a few that it was time to let go of. No matter how much of a right choice it is, sometimes it’s really hard to do so.

We said goodbye to Snute (the last of our pet rats) when he’d gotten old and his body decided that it was time to leave. He left us with a lot of wonderful memories.

I got firsthand experience with how chaotic it can get when an airline’s (British Airways) IT system crashes, and you’re not in your home country.

I struggled with insomnia for quite a while.

And I got my heart broken, just in time for my 30th birthday.

IMG_0391

 

But even so, 2017 had so many more truly wonderful moments! 

I traveled to London (twice), Texas, Copenhagen, Kiel and Madrid!

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Had my first (and second) experience with staying at a hostel while traveling, and I loved it!

I met a lot of new, wonderful and interesting people!

I went to the Oslo Opera House for the first (and second) time, and saw some out of this world performances!

I got to see Jason Mraz live once again! And I got to see Rag’n’Bone Man live for the first time! Both concerts moved me to tears!

Leander found a love for dancing, and it’s such a joy to watch him get better and better.

IMG_1861

I got to follow Cecilia Samartin and do a behind the scenes video when she did press here in Oslo.

I got two new tattoos, a new camera and a new job!

Some of my closest friends came to celebrate my 30th birthday with me, surrounding me with love, smiles and wine, even though I sort of cancelled the party. I’m so glad they came!

I spent the actual day I turned 30 with my very best friend in the whole world, and it was perfect! Vegan sushi, Prosecco and a slumber party!

I faced my fear (which I will write more about in a post soon) and got over my extreme fear of going to the dentist!

And my plans to spend New Years alone, just snuggling up with a good book, turned into spending it with another of my best friends, going to a party, having an epic snowball fight with strangers and then dancing our way far into 2018!

And one of the most wonderful things I experienced in 2017 was that I’m still capable of falling head over heels in love. And even though it didn’t go as I’d hoped, it’s a relief to know that my heart still has the ability to fall completely for someone new. I thought I’d lost it.

2017, I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m very grateful for all that happened, and at the same time I’m very glad that it was time to split so I could start my new journey with 2018. So far I have to say that 2018 has been extremely good to me, and I can’t wait to see what’s to come. 

On January 1st 2018, I started a new tradition. I wrote a letter to my future self, about the wishes I have for myself and the upcoming year. I’ve sealed it and so it will remain until January 1st 2019, when it’s time to do a recap of the year, and to write a new letter.

I have a good feeling about 2018 you guys! Let’s make it a special one!

Happy New Year!

IMG_1847

 

 

Categories: I was thinking about, My own writing, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Blog at WordPress.com.