‘I know you enjoy being single and all, but don’t you miss love?’
She looked at me with judgemental eyes that were way easier to read than she probably wanted them to be.
‘Who says I don’t have love?’
When did not being in a relationship automatically become the same as lonely and without love? Just because I don’t share my rent with another person, suddenly I have no love in my life?
What a load of bullshit!
I’ve been single for almost a year now, and during that period of time I’ve met some amazing people. I’ve shared time and love with both men and women. Some are still in my life and some not. But they all have one thing in common; They’ve added something new to my life. They’ve helped me grow as a person. And through getting to know them, I also got to know myself a little better.
I have people in my life who’ve been there for many years. Friends I can’t even picture my life without. My best friends are my soulmates. The ones that I call when I need a shoulder to cry on, someone to laugh with or just to be distracted from my own thoughts. They are part of my roots, and no matter how far my lives branches stretch, they will always be connected to the those exact roots. Sometimes branches snap, but that doesn’t mean that they’re permanently broken. Over time a new branch will grow, and it will take a different shape than it had the last time around, but will still carry forth the most amazing leaves.
Some people didn’t stay around for that long. Some because they didn’t want to. Some because they couldn’t. I still love and miss them all. Because love is so much more than sharing your bed and your bills. Love is about connecting with people. It’s about growth and about being present.
Have I gotten my heart broken? Sure! Many times. Do I still love them? Absolutely!
The love might not be the same as it was, but it still lingers, like a distant memory. Because even if our relationship might change, it still contributed to my life and to the way that I love.
The beauty of cracks in a big heart is that even though it might bleed, the sunshine and warmth have more openings to enter through. I choose to be grateful for the love that I’ve experienced.
We fear the word love for being something that changes everything, but should we? It’s been a long time since I feared the word love. Maybe I just love differently? Maybe it’s because I don’t believe in love being reserved for “the one”?
I like to say that I have too much love to give, for me to sit around and wait for one recipient. Because it’s better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all!
So to all of you wonderful people who’ve made my life to what it is today:
I love you!