I Was Thinking….. Never Assume!

Lately I’ve been having a lot of stuff on my mind and it feels about time to get them out there. So the “I Was Thinking..” posts will appear from now on and whenever I feel like getting something off my chest.

Never ASSUME! Then you make an ASS out of U and ME!

I’m so tired! The past nine months I’ve been struggling with my right arm and shoulder, making it impossible to work at my day to day job. I’ve seen several experts and doctors. Taken several treatments that showed little to no improvement. But there is one thing that they’ve all agreed on is that the pain I’ve been struggling with is real and it will not get better by itself.

The last couple of weeks I’ve been getting a new evaluation at a polyclinic that I’ve never been to before. And finally I feel like they’ve found the problem and now they’re working on a plan to get me better. What I have (in addition to the tendonitis)  is an unbalanced shoulder. This means that my right shoulder because of tension and the tendonitis has been pushed forward. When I move my shoulder or am tense, the shoulder bone squeezes my nerves and blood vessels. This makes the brain cut off some of the messages that helps me balance my arm and makes it hard to work with it.

Well.. I don’t want to make this into a medical journal, but the thing is that the past months have really taught me a lot about myself and mostly about how people talk and gossip when one has a disease that can’t be seen.

To have people around you that thought were better than that does something to you. It can really bring you down and make you question so much.

It’s been an eye opener and quite a shock to hear how insensitive people can be and how easily they make assumptions about things they know nothing about. It’s so easy for people to point their fingers and have an idea of what you’re going through when really, they don’t have a clue.

For instance, did you know that 1 out of 15 people (in Europe) suffers from major depression? And if you include anxiety and all kinds of depression this number increases to 4 out of 15! (source: WHO report)

Now look at your list of Facebook friends! Doing the  math with these statics it shows that so many as 30 of my friends could have a major depression and up to 120 if we include all kinds of depression and anxiety.

Now, think back to how many times you’ve asked someone how they’re doing and they’ve answered fine, but you had a feeling that wasn’t the most truthful answer. We’ve all been there and we’ve all settled with the answer and decided that it was none of our business. Then you maybe mention it to another friend of the both of you that something feels a bit off and suddenly before you know it the ball is rolling and getting out of control.

“Are you okay?”

You know what? It’s okay to answer no to that question. It could potentially be a bit awkward because we are so used to the everyday politeness, but it sure is refreshing to say it like it is.

And I beg of you! Stop assuming what other people are feeling at any given moment. Take the time to look them in the eye and ask them one more time if they are really okay and if there’s something that they would like to talk about.

The answer might surprise you.


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