I’m pretty sure we haven’t met yet and still I kind of miss you already. I miss the way I want us to cuddle while listening to the rain. How we laugh at each other’s stupid jokes. How you roll your eyes when I’m trying in the fifth dress and we should have left twenty minutes ago. How I always want to kiss you even when you make me angry. How it is so easy for us to talk for hours about everything and nothing, but at the same time we can also be comfortable with being quiet together.
Even though I don’t know you yet, I know why I love you.
I love the way you are passionate about your goals. How you light up when you talk about the things that you love. The way you love my kid as if he was your own. The way you look at me from the other side of the room. The way you hold me in your arms while I cry over some sad movie. The way you goof around together with me even though there are other people around. The way we can pull each other’s fingers and giggle like small children. I love you for the respect, the kindness and the positivity. The way you are different from me so that we can learn from each other. The way you encourage my writing even though you might not always understand it.
I know that I will do my very best to help you achieve all of your dreams and the dreams that we build together. I will try to remember to say ‘I’m sorry’ whenever I lash out in grumpiness when I’m really just hungry as hell. I will build up the courage to join you in doing things you want to do that I find absolutely terrifying. I will make amazing coffee and write you awkward poems and notes. I will probably make you blush when I dance on the subway (I just can’t help it), when I tell a bad joke or sing too loud (and sour) in the shower or in the car. I will make delicious breakfast because I’ve been up all night writing and just didn’t know what to do the last hour before you have to get up.
There are so many things that I know, but there are a million things that I can’t wait to learn.
How you smile. How you act when you’re drunk. Those little things that will annoy me but I wouldn’t want to live without. The memories we will make and the stories we will tell. What scares you and what moves you.
These are just a few of the things I can’t wait to find out but there is this thing I have to do first.
I just have to find you.