Sometimes we wait for a long time for an answer to something. We wish for a yes. We picture it. How it will feel like to get it, how you will proceed from that point, how it might change your life. And even though we try to be realistic and to keep in mind that there is a good possibility of a rejection and how that also will feel like, we get disappointed never the less.
Yesterday I got one of those rejections that I was afraid of was coming, but was so much hoping would be a new opportunity instead. I thought I was prepared for it, but the truth is I wasn’t. I could feel my stomach clenching up and the overwhelming thought of What the hell am I going to do now!
Because in my mind I had a plan. I had pictured it all and I was so ready for this change in my life that I somehow (even knowing I might not get it) didn’t picture my future without that opportunity in it. Mentally I fell, and I fell hard.
When I got home from work yesterday I just ate and fell asleep at seven pm. My body just wanted to tune out for a while. Recharge my batteries and reboot my system,
Luckily I’m an optimist for most of the time and after another day at work today and a little nap after dinner I can finally feel myself coming together again.
This rejection was a set back from my plans, but hey! It’s not permanent! I’m healthy, I have a gorgeous son and a fantastic boyfriend, I’ve got a job and I have a roof over my head. I have friends that support me even when times are tough. I have ambitions of course, and there’s nothing wrong with wanting more from life, as long as you know how to appreciate the things you already have!
I’ve decided to turn this no around into a new opportunity. A way of life telling me that that wasn’t something that I was supposed to do because something else is coming.
I’m going to devote more time to my writing and I will keep on finding out what there is I want to do with my life while I’m going to enjoy what I’m already doing.
So here’s me putting the real smile back on my face, picking my self up and keep on going!
2013 will be a good year, I’ve decided so 😛