I hit that send button with a lot of thoughts going through my mind.
Maybe I should have written it differently. Maybe I bragged too much. Or what if I bragged too little?
I would be perfect for this!
I wouldn’t have a clue..
Maybe it was a mistake…
By the time the word “mistake” crossed my mind, I wanted to slap myself.
All the pep talks, the inspirational quotes hanging over my desk, every written word through the year and of course my big life long dream of becoming a writer, and now I just told myself that I wasn’t worth it?
That the opportunity shouldn’t be taken? That I shouldn’t dare to be great?
Obstacles are what you see
when you lose track of your goals.
I never completely lost sight of my goals, but I hid them away. I filled my time with other things, having a piece of my heart watching over my big dream while I tried out the world and looked for ideas, but only found excuses. Too many excuses.
I wasn’t getting any closer to my goals, because I stopped trying to reach for them.
Upon realizing that the fog of confusion and self doubt was what was keeping my dreams away from me, I sat myself down and gave myself the peppiest of all pep talks.
Why shouldn’t I give it my all? Why shouldn’t I take some leaps of faith?
Why shouldn’t I dare to be great?
No one is perfect and no one can ever become perfect, but no one should try to be anything but true to them selves.
I’m a creative person. I’ve known that all my life. But growing up I knew that I wasn’t going to become painter even though I enjoy being creative with a pencil. I wasn’t going to become a singer, even though I often do a heck of a one woman show in the shower. I’m not going to become a poetry reciting astronaut even though I let my thoughts wander into space.
But do you know what? I’m already a writer! I’ve always been a writer. A writer in progress. A writer by heart.
My not-yet-finished novel isn’t in bookshelves around the world, and I haven’t made a decent salary from writing yet, but that doesn’t make me any less of a writer as long as I keep on working, and write from the depths of my heart and the dark places in my soul.
Suddenly my goals were as clear as they have never been. And right then I decided it was time.
I was going to a leap.
I was going to take many!
And now I’m proud of myself for daring to send that email. That application for what might be the perfect job for my writing heart.
I might not get it because of lack of experience in the field. But should I be so lucky to get the opportunity then I would dare to be the greatest at it.
If you find a job that you love
You won’t have to work another day in your life.
Just give me time.. I’ll get there 🙂
And so should you!